In your head you are thinking, ‘Why am I so sad to say goodbye, I’ve only known them for a couple of months?’.
It’s a heart wrenching feeling saying goodbye to the people you have only just met, even more so when you met them in an unknown place. You share such unique memories with them, that only you two will understand and laugh or cry at. I guess it is the curse of living in a place where lots of people come and go. If you have been travelling, or even just moved to another country you will share my pain and understand why saying goodbye or ‘see you later’ is a lot harder, than when you are saying goodbye to your friends from your hometown. Now, please don’t misunderstand, it was really hard saying ‘see ya later’ to my home friends aswell, but the difference here is I know I will see them whenever I go home for a visit. The not knowing when I’ll see them again, is what really makes this situation different.
These are what I call, TURBO FRIENDSHIPS.
You get so close so quickly, because your brains are wired the same, you have both come to this unknown place because you both want to see what it has to offer. You can encourage each other to do the most idiotic things because you aren’t freaked out.You are both out of your own comfort zones, so ‘why the hell not’ you go and do something completely different. It gets so exciting planning trips, hikes, camping, booking buses etc because you know you both equally want to go, do or see these things. After a month together you feel like you’ve known each other a lifetime, and it must seem strange to an outsider. I mean it seems strange to me most of the time if I give myself time to think about it.
And then they leave….and you feel a little lost. You spent so much time filling your days with laughter (sometimes laughing until you want to pee your pants) and going on adventures, you forgot the part that they will have to leave this little bubble at some point. So many times this has happened to me, and I feel like I will never ever learn my lesson, and I feel I shouldn’t ‘learn my lesson’, I love these Turbo Friendships….so instead I’ve developed other ways to deal with the situation:
1) STAY IN CONTACT: This may sound simple, but life happens guys, and you forget to send a message or pick up the phone. There are so many avenues you can use these days, there really shouldn’t be any reason not to stay in touch. Facetime is my fave, its less effort, and most of the time feels like they are in the room with you.
2) DON’T TRY AND FIND A REPLACEMENT: You will try and fill the void with the next person that comes along….BUT DON’T! You both share your own unique friendship, you definitely won’t find a replacement…that’s just silly. However another amazing friend will come along, and bring something fresh and new to your life….so hang tight!
3) SEND EACH OTHER SILLY THINGS: Personally I find I am always walking into a store, or seeing something out and about that reminds me of my long distance friends (I was trying to think of a better name than ‘long distance friends’ but I couldn’t, if you think of one leave a comment below). If its something inexpensive then send it to them. It’s always nice getting things in the post…even if its just something shitty.
4) SET REMINDERS: If you have chatted, and you find out they are starting a new job, going away, making a big purchase etc, put a reminder in your phone to make sure you get in touch with them to see how it went. As I said life goes on, and things slip your mind, but it will mean so much to them if you touch base on the things that matter.
I hope this has helped all you heart broken friendless people out there (just kidding hehe!). Keep nurturing those Turbo Friendships, it’s worth it! I really do LOVE my friendships with these people, and they continually keep having a beautiful effect on me!